I Only Sneezed

It’s that time of year again, the time where once again I need to let everyone know that I am not patient Zero, as I get looks of abject fear from the people I share public transport with.

Last week I had to go to my son’s school for a parent/Teacher meeting so we could see how he is doing at school and whether he is hitting his targets or needs more support from home.

While I was on the bus I sneezed, I sneezed about 4 or 5 times in a row and the looks I got…

You would think that I had sneezed and sprayed everyone in front of me with some deadly toxin or a huge glob of lung had shot out of my mouth and hit the guy in front of me on the back of the head.

I sat there, all red eyed and snotty nosed and looked round at everyone, looking at me as if I had just unleashed Novichok on them, their faces carrying a look of a cross between disguised and slight panic.

So to the people I shared that bus with, here’s the deal.

It is spring time and I suffer from Hey fever. This is where tiny bits of pollen and flowery junk tickle the back of my nose and make me sneeze, you think you had it bad last night? You should see me in the morning when I have an hour long sneezing fit.

I do take antihistamines to help with my hay fever but, there are the occasional times when I do sneeze, a lot, when these tines do occur I sneeze into a tissue or my hand. My head does not spin around like some kind of demented fair ground clown as a spray toxic fluid over everyone, so you have nothing to fear.

Truth of the matter is, if there was a zombie apocalypse, chances are I would be one of the first to become a zombie banquet when I alert a zombie horde by sneezing whike hiding behind a wheelie bin.

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